On Valentine's Day, the age-old question of who should pay on the first date resurfaces - KOSI 101.1 (2024)

FAQs

Who should pay for Valentines date? ›

The person who extends the invitation for a date should pay the tab and tip. If unimpressed on a first date, offer to pay your part to avoid wasting the other person's money. Consideration of who earns more money can determine the payer, especially in established relationships.

"The rule when it comes to dates in general — and especially the first date — is the person who extends the invitation also pays and tips. The bill and tip go hand in hand," said etiquette expert Diane Gottsman.

It is universally acknowledged that men should pay for the first date. A true gentleman knows that if he has asked a woman on the first date (as is the norm) then he should be the one picking up the tab.

In the past, there was an understanding that men should expect to pay in full for the first date. However, according to Frederick, a new counter norm has emerged: Women are expected to at least offer to chip in, whether by reaching for their wallet or by vocalizing a desire to pay.

So who's paying for the Valentine's Day date and beyond? It depends on whom you ask. Most Americans (72%) agree that in a heterosexual couple, the man should pay on the first date. Interestingly, men are more likely to say this than women (78% vs.

“My rule of thumb, and the most widely acknowledged rule for who pays the bill, is the person who asked for the date, pays for it,” Sanders Lazarus emphasised. “From my experience, and talking to relationship gurus, this rule is the fairest and most reasonable way to split the bill.

Women don't agree. Less than half of the women in the study (46%) think that paying for the date is the guy's responsibility. Men and women also disagree on whether women should foot the bill instead. Just 2% of men want women to pay when they're on a first date.

In order to have a balance here in making sure that the women feel pursued and men still treat women well during dates, it is okay for men to pay but men should also give way for women to pay for dates if they prefer paying for it.

The researchers found that young men paid for all or most of the dates around 90 percent of the time, while women paid only about 2 percent (they split around 8 percent of the time). On subsequent dates, splitting the check was more common, though men still paid a majority of the time while women rarely did.

This lines up with what respondents estimate a good date should cost: $196, but one in eight expect to spend even more, at least $300, on each date night. Results showed that men have higher expectations, believing that good dates cost about $220, while the average woman believes a good date costs $170.

On what date should you first kiss? ›

26% say the third date . . . and 15% say the first date. That said, 68% of singles say they'd be open to kissing someone on Date #1. 80% say they'd kiss on the second date . . . and 88% would be open to kissing on the third date.

The three-date rule is the concept that, according to Chung, sets a standard of when you should engage sexually with someone. And as the name suggests, it's date number three that the "rule" says you should wait until you have sex.

The researchers found that young men paid for all or most of the dates around 90 percent of the time, while women paid only about 2 percent (they split around 8 percent of the time). On subsequent dates, splitting the check was more common, though men still paid a majority of the time while women rarely did.

Valentine's Gift for him

They may not be very vocal about it, but men love to know they're being thought of, too. That's no different on Valentine's Day. Some men say they think it's nonsense to participate in Valentine's Day. But when you arrive with a gift, you're bound to put a smile on their face every time.

That person is usually the planner and wants things just “so”. It doesn't mean it's the guy who should plan Valentine's Day if he's the more laid-back partner. It could be the woman who's the one who makes the dinner reservations and plans for the romantic evening.