Marcus Peng, Arts editor • February 10, 2024
Valentine’s Day can be about all different forms of love: platonic, romantic or whatever you and your five-month-long situationship have going on.
Gift-giving is a great way to express your emotions and tell the people in your life what they mean to you. If you’re in a situationship, otherwise known as that hazy zone between “just friends” and a relationship, you might feel stuck on what to get your kind-of-special someone. Just what do they mean to you? Have no worries, because although your relationship is vague and undefined, these seven gift ideas are too!
1. A Yankee Candle
Normally, candles are a great way to help someone relax and set a romantic mood. But, you’re not looking for romance, you’re looking for foggy and confusing. There’s only one brand fit for this monumental job: Yankee Candle, a company with a time-honored tradition of creating bizarrely abstract candle names. Gifting your Schrodinger’s sweetheart a candle called “Beach Escape” or “Warm Pineapple Upside Down Cake” can elicit a sense of complete bewilderment, just like how you feel every time you talk to them. Do they like you or not? You’re still not sure, but “Cardamom Nut Muffin” is the perfect candle to describe that feeling.
2. A cactus
Judging from how inconsistent your situationship is at texting you back, it may not be the best idea to get them a traditional houseplant, as that would require regular attention. Apart from being extremely cool-looking, cacti are also famously resilient plants. They thrive on neglect, making them the perfect plant to give to your somewhat significant other.
3. A SIM card
Sometimes your barely beloved texts you back in minutes, other times they take days. Your friends keep telling you it’s because they’re not interested in you, but maybe it’s because they have really bad cell service. Try gifting them a SIM card to see if that solves the issue!
4. A nice, thoughtful book
Books are an underrated gift. Aside from being sources of knowledge, you can also send a subtle message to the receiver of your gift based on the book you choose. If you want a book with an ending as dramatic as the inevitable death of your situationship, pick out a romantic literary classic like “Romeo and Juliet” or “Anna Karenina” to signal to your potential pookie that you think the two of you are star-crossed lovers.
5. A chess set
Chess is a game that requires high amounts of skill and strategy. Strong players need to be able to think strategically, put their opponent in tricky situations and be adept at mind games, which your situationship is no doubt gifted at. So, buying a chess set for them will help nurture and develop their talent. So thoughtful!
6. A personalized playlist
Music is one of the best ways to get to know someone on a deeper level, and you’ve already spent countless hours thinking about your part-time lover. You’ve analyzed every single action they’ve taken, every word they’ve spoken and every text they’ve sent. If it takes 10,000 hours to become an expert at something, you’ve already clocked in enough time to earn a PhD. Surely, you know enough about them to make them a playlist of a couple of songs they would like, right?
7. A $20 Amazon gift card
Okay, maybe you don’t know them that well. Like your relationship with them, this person’s personality and interests are about as clear as mud to you. You might be thinking that a $20 Amazon gift card seems like a low-effort cop-out, and it is! But remember, gift-giving is about returning the energy someone gives you, so it’s a fantastic gift.
Ultimately, gifts are supposed to be personal, especially for a holiday like Valentine’s Day. If you want your situationship to go anywhere (which, let’s be honest, it won’t), you need to put time and thought into a gift that reflects your love. There’s really no perfect guide for your shopping- except for this.